


Caged Birds

by suckedintoanotherfandom



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cage Fighter Hawke AU, F/F, F/M, Modern AU, Very Protective Big Sister, almost dumb mistakes, bottled feelings, slow burn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-01-16 06:40:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21266690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckedintoanotherfandom/pseuds/suckedintoanotherfandom
Summary: Hawke is a car mechanic by day, cage fighter by night, and just wants to keep her mother and sister safe. Anders is a disgruntled University drop-out vet tech as the Chantry gains control of the universities. How will these two deal with the changes to come?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning yall now: Alcoholism is serious and if you need help, please seek it out. Please know your limits.  
Some background on my Hawke. She has a custom face, I'll add a picture later. Warrior (reaver/berserker specializations) and is 100% mage rights or mage fights. Prefers to handle things with diplomacy but applies sarcasm liberally.

The crowd roared as Safaera stood victorious, her fist raised in the air. The announcer was enthusiastically declaring her win. She had taken on four different contestants. The last two had ganged up on her. The crowd began chanting her stage name as she made her way to her locker room. 

"Reaver! Reaver! Reaver!" The name soon drowned out to nothing more than white noise.

When she made it to her locker room, her friend Fenris was waiting outside.

"That was foolish to take on two guys at the same time," Fenris stated bluntly, as he offered her a bottle of water.

"Well, Fen, they didn't allow me to call for help." She took the water and drank heavily until the bottle was empty. "Are you fighting tonight?"

Fenris shook his head, and Safaera gave a light laugh.

"No, you only like to fight Tevinter mages and thugs," Fenris smirked at her. "Too bad those are in short supply."

"Hurry up and change, Hawke. Varric offered to pay for your first round." Fenris tried to hide his smile, but it was too late.

"Well, if Varric is buying, we haven't a minute to waste!" She stepped into the locker room, changed, packed her bag, then came right back out. As she walked out, Safaera checked her phone. 

** _12:36 am_ **

~~ _10 missed calls ~~_

_~~ 5 unread messages ~~_

She dismissed the notifications, tucked her phone into her sports bra, then began to unwrap her hands and place the straps haphazardly into her bag. _I'll roll them up properly later, _she thought. They stepped out of Darktown and into Lowtown. A cool breeze drifted in the air, and Safaera sighed in appreciation. Fenris began muttering about the cold and quickened his pace.

They got to the Hanged Man after a few minutes of brisk walking. They would have ridden their motorcycles but they had left them at the bar. Fenris pulled open the door and the two went in. It was a normal Tuesday night, the only people there were the regulars that knew to leave them alone. Safaera spotted Varric at their usual table with a round of drinks waiting for them.

"Well, look who it is! My favorite dwarf!" She called out gleefully when they got closer, causing Varric to snicker at the comment. Safaera sat down and grabbed her beer taking a healthy sip.

"Fae, what were you thinking with that last fight?" Safaera took a drink of her beer, deciding that it was best to avoid that question. Fenris just chuckled into his glass of Tevinter red wine.

"Funny, I said the same thing," Fenris added.

"Don't be so smug. It was a good match." She set down her half-empty glass and signaled the waitress for another. "Anyway, how'd I do?"

"I don't know why you want me to deal with Athenriel," he pulled a slightly worn envelope from his pocket and handed it to her.

"I trust that she'll try and screw me over, and I really don't want her against me." Safaera took the envelope and stuffed it into her bag. It was just another task that she had to do before she could sleep.

As she looked at the amber liquid in front of her, her phone began vibrating against her chest. She pulled the phone out to see her mother calling for the eleventh time. Safaera placed it face down on the table to mute it and took a drink of her beer. _I'll deal with it later. She'll go to sleep soon._ When she was sure the call had stopped, she unlocked her phone to look at the messages.

Just as she suspected, they were all from her mother. Asking where she was if she was at the store, and to get her something to drink. Safaera tried not to blame her mother for the dependency. Carver and Father were both lost to an extremist group that attacked the marketplace. It had been five years, and she was still drowning in her sorrows.

"Hey guys! Sorry, I'm late!" Merrill's voice broke her thoughts, and she smiled at the Dalish girl.

"Merrill's here. I say we have enough for Wicked Grace." Safaera exclaimed mischievously. 

Varric pulled out his deck and began shuffling as the conversation between the four of them became livelier. 

"Still drinking, Fae?" Varric motioned to her empty glass. A few rounds of cards had passed. Usually, she would have accepted the offer, but the messages from her mother put her off.

"Nah, I don't want to tempt summoning the Captain." Varric nodded and ordered another round for everyone except her and Merrill. _Poor girl. Her face is positively flushed. _Her phone buzzed against the table.

** _1:28 am_ **

_~~ 1 unread message: Bethy ~~_

Safaera unlocked her phone, opening the message.

** _>When are you coming home? (1:28a)_ **

_<After this game. I'm at the Hanged Man with Fenris and Varric. (1:08a)_

** _>Mother wants you to bring some wine home. (1:29a)_ **

_<I know. I'm not going to. She had 5 bottles (1:29a)_

_<That was supposed to last her for a month (1:29a)_

_<She can't be drinking that much in two weeks (1:30a)_

Safaera was now glaring at her phone. _Of course, Mother would do this._ She ignored the looks that passed between her friends.

"You doing alright, Fae?" Fenris inquired.

They knew about the situation, and each had offered help to Leandra, but her mother denied it. Her friends were thankfully compassionate to offer their help, it meant a lot to Safaera. 

_<Are you safe? I can come home now if you need me to. (1:32a)_

_>**I'm ok. I'm in my room. Door locked. (1:32a)**_

_<OMW (1:33a)_

"How much Varric?"

"I got it, Fae." She shook her head and placed two silvers on the table.

"I'll catch you guys later." She stood up, bag in tow, and jogged out of the bar.

Safaera walked over to her bike and strapped down her bag after pulling the helmet out. She got on and started the bike without a problem. Safaera took her time driving back. She was just buying time for her mother to be in bed and, hopefully, asleep.

Safaera pulled into the driveway much too soon for her liking. She walked in to find her mabari, Duke waiting patiently by the door. After affectionately rubbing his face she opened the door and followed him out to allow him to do his business. She pulled out her hand wraps and began rolling them as she waited for Duke to patrol his kingdom. As she did that, Bethany came outside, talking on the phone, looking exasperated.

"Everything okay?" She mouthed to Bethany.

Bethany shrugged and mouthed back, "Troubled classmate. Again." Safaera nodded and looked back at Duke.

"Mom asleep?" Bethany responded with a nod, then returned her attention to the caller.

"Look, Anders, I get that you're frustrated. But dropping out or taking a break isn't going to fix anything. It’s been four months now, you’re already so far behind."

_“They are making you change your major, Bethany. How is that fair?”_ It was a quiet enough night that Safaera could hear both ends of the conversation.

“It’s not, but what else can I do?”

_“You could stand against the injustice that the templars and Chantry are forcing onto the university! This is not a Circle-doctrine university, yet they are enforcing rules as if it were!”_

From what Safaera heard about Anders, and now from this conversation, he was very pro-mage rights and anti-Chantry involvement. It sounded familiar, mirroring her own opinions. She grew up near magic and if practiced properly and selflessly then there was no need to involve a religious institution. _My magic will serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base._ It was a phrase her father would say often. She used to joke that was his motto. Safaera smiled fondly at the memory.

“Goodnight, Anders.” Bethany hung up and sighed heavily.

“Riveting conversation.” Duke passed the girls, and they turned to follow.

“Sorry, he gets so single-minded, that it can be overwhelming.” They made their way into the study and sat in their favorite spots. “You had a match today, didn’t you?”

“I did, and we aren’t done with that conversation. What’s this about them making you change your major?”

Bethany cursed under her breath. “I was hoping you didn’t hear that. It seems that the Chantry took control of the University over the summer and are starting to make these changes. We have a new president: Knight-Captain Meredith. Fae, they’ve added more templars on campus and most of the administration has changed. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“Well, it explains the bullshit price spike.” Bethany gave her an annoyed look. “What do you want to do?”

“What can I do? I’m all but forced to go into nursing.”

“There’s the Grey Wardens.” Their mother would have a heart attack if she heard the conversation now.

“I don’t know.” Bethany looked at the fireplace.

“From what I understand, if you prove yourself, you would have the freedom to apply yourself however you want, Bethy.” Bethany’s brow furrowed.

“I’ll have to think about it.” She said after a while.

“Bethy, the choice is yours. I just gave another option. If I can help you, I will.” Safaera stood up and looked at her phone. It was almost three in the morning. “I’ve got to get to sleep. Goodnight.” She and Duke left Bethany in the study and went into her bedroom.

Safaera set her bag at the foot of her bed and pulled out the envelope she had gotten from Varric. The sovereigns slid out, creating a small pile of coins. _I’m like a dragon with her hoard._ She giggled to herself as she began counting the coin. Overall it came out to sixty sovereigns and fifty silver. Not bad given that the fights barely took any effort. She began dividing up the money into their necessary piles: Bethany’s tuition, utilities and bills, savings, and day to day expenses. Safaera only put a tenth of the money into the day to day expenses. The rest went into separate coin pouches that she had hidden around her room.

After she made sure that was taken care of, Safaera changed into a tank top and pajama shorts and climbed into bed. Duke had beaten her to the middle and she had to wrestle with him to get more space. She turned to her nightstand, plugged in her phone, double-checked the alarm and turned off the light. _Finally, some time to myself._ She laid still and listened to Duke's even breathing as she drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Safaera woke up to Duke pawing at her shoulder and soft, almost playful, whining. She groaned as she blinked open an eye to glare at the hound. When Duke saw her head moved he inched up closer to his face and placed his head in his paws, trying to look as if he didn’t wake her up. Safaera nuzzled her face back into the pillow and retreated further into the blankets. Duke gave a playful bark and a sleepy smile spread on Safaera’s face. Safaera allowed their morning ritual to happen two more times before Duke nuzzled under the blankets and into her arms. She fell back asleep, now appreciating the added warmth. Then, before she got too comfortable, her alarm came too soon. She rolled over and blindly grabbed for her phone, wincing when the harsh light hit her face, and turned off the alarm.

“All right Duke get up. We’ve got a kingdom to patrol.” Duke looked at her and gave a lazy yawn as Safaera pulled on her jacket to go outside. “Today, Duke.” She called as she walked out of her room. Safaera didn’t bother to look back when she heard the dog follow behind her.

Safaera muttered under breath as she stepped out into the sunlight. She rubbed her eyes in an attempt to adjust to the brightness. After finally getting used to the sunlight, Safaera watched as Duke paced around the yard, almost restlessly. _ Maybe I’ll take him for a hike today. _ Duke came up to her and smiled.

“Good patrol today, Sir Duke? What about conquering Sundermount today?” Duke jumped around excitedly. “All right,” Safaera giggled at his enthusiasm, “we’ll go after work today.” They went inside with Duke panting happily beside her. 

She began her morning routine after she got upstairs and into the bathroom. Safaera walked back into her room and to her closet. She put on an old pair of jeans and a black tank top, then tied her red scarf around her left wrist and grabbed her father’s old plaid shirt as she left the room. As pulled on the extra shirt, Safaera saw her mother waiting for her downstairs.

“Where are you going, Safaera?”

“Work. Like I do every day.” She didn’t want to have this conversation.

“Where did you go last night?”

“I’m going to be late.” Safaera tried to walk past her mother, but Leandra grabbed onto the back of her shirt. She sighed and faced her. “Out. I was with Fenris and Varric.” _ Not exactly a lie. _

“I don’t like you hanging out with them.”

“I stopped looking for your approval five years ago. I’m going.” Leandra stepped away from her in shock allowing Safaera the chance to walk away.

“Come back! I’m not – ” She shut the door before hearing the end of the sentence. 

Safaera sighed and rested her head against the door cursing herself. At one point, she would have bent over backward to please her mother. She tried living her mother’s dream, but it wasn’t for her. Carver’s and Father’s death proved that. _ I guess we both changed from that event. _ Something wet rolled down her cheek.

“Well, shit.” Safaera took a deep breath and dried her eyes as she walked over to her bike. She revved the engine and sped out of the driveway towards Lowtown.

Safaera pulled into the garage to find it still closed. Leaning on the handlebars of her motorcycle, she pulled out her phone and checked the time. 

** _8:55 am  
_** _~~ 3 missed calls ~~  
_ _~~ 1 new voicemail ~~ _

She unlocked her phone, ignoring the calls and voicemail, and messaged Varric.

_ <Hey sleepy head. Wake up. (8:55a) _

She pocketed the phone and parked her bike. Safaera had a key to get in anyway. When she put her key in the lock she found the door unlocked. She flipped on the lights to the front.

“Hey! Varric!” She heard a grunt in the direction of his office. Peeking inside, Varric was concentrating on his computer screen, typing fast. She left him to his work and began getting the garage open for business. Fenris pulled up as she opened the garage doors.

“Get the sign will you?” Safaera plugged in her phone for the music, took off her extra shirt and picked up on the work she had from yesterday.

Fenris joined her after turning the sign to open. A Hightown resident had bought an old car with the intent of restoring it but had no clue what they were doing or how much effort it would take. She had managed to convince the owner to bring it down to allow them to work on it, for a price of course.

The day ended as it usually did. Fenris was arguing with a customer over a bill and she would have to stand behind him as support. _ Funny, nobody believes that Varric is the store owner. _ They locked the door when the Kirkwaller figured out that they weren’t budging and finally paid.

“You going into the cage tonight Fae?” Varric’s voice called from his office. She leaned the doorway to be able to address both Fenris and Varric.

“Nah. I've got a date tonight.”

“Taking Duke on a walk isn’t a date,” Fenris added without missing a beat. She and Varric laughed.

“I heard Isabela is back in town,” Varric mentioned off-handedly. There was a pang in Safaera’s chest.

“If she wants to hang out, she’ll call me.” She tried to play it off. Isabella only wanted to have fun. So she tried to have fun.

Varric wasn’t buying it. “As much fun as Rivani can be, you need someone better, Fae.”

Safaera stood up straight and shrugged acknowledgment. “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She grabbed her stuff and went home.

Duke greeted her when she got home, leash in his mouth. Safaera ran up to her room to change into workout clothes and came back down. During the five minutes that she was in the house, she didn’t see Leandra anywhere and shrugged it off. _ Probably for the best. _ Safaera and Duke climbed into her mother’s sedan and they headed for Sundermount. 

It hadn’t taken long to get to Sundermount. All the while Duke got so excited he hopped into the backseat to have more room to hop around in. By the time they got to the parking lot, Duke was whining and pawing at the windows.

“Okay! We’re here! I need you to calm down.” She opened the door for Duke who danced on his feet as if he was telling her to hurry up. Safaera plugged in her headphones, turned on her music and bunched his leash in one hand allowing him to roam freely. The only time she put it on was when there were other dogs or big groups of people. The police that came to surveillance the area stopped getting on her case when she proved that he would never attack without cause.

She started running and Duke ran alongside her. It was hers and Duke’s favorite trail and it allowed her to lose herself in the rhythm, forgetting about her stress and other problems. The trails were unusually empty. _ Merrill’s old clan must be back,_ she figured and pressed on. Duke was running ahead of her as if challenging her to a race that she would occasionally accept. By the time they had finished the trail, both were breathing hard. Safaera wiped the sweat from her forehead with her scarf that she left tied on her wrist. Safaera walked over to an empty picnic table and laid down on the bench. Duke came to lay next to her. She detested that she found peace away from home. The cool breeze and warm sun made Safaera relax. She closed her eyes enjoying the warmth of the early evening. 

A few minutes, or an hour – she wasn’t keeping track – later, a car pulled up, but Safaera didn't move to sit up. By the sound of it, one person got out of the car. The footsteps were slowly approaching her. When the footsteps stopped right beside her, she kept her eyes closed and ignored the presence beside her.

“Hawke. I know you’re awake.” Safaera opened one eye and saw the police captain, Aveline, standing over her. She still made no effort to move or sit up, rather she closed her eyes again.

“Your mother said you’ve been ignoring her. She called me.”

“I can take care of myself, Aveline. Besides, she’s wanting to get drunk. I’m done enabling her.”

“Go home, Hawke.” Aveline crossed her arms over her chest.

“How’s Donnic? You seemed stressed. Maybe you two need a weekend together.”

“My personal affairs are none of your business. I won’t repeat myself.” Safaera sat up and looked at Aveline. Aveline was growing more annoyed with her. _When am I not annoying Aveline? Fuck it. Let's push her over the edge today._

“I am at home. Wherever my dog is, that’s home.” Duke gave an affirmative bark. That was the last straw.

“I actually got a call about a stolen vehicle. And who do I find, but Leandra’s daughter lying on a bench that has had who knows what whores on it.”

Safaera appraised the wooden picnic table. “I would say it’s had more animals than whores. It doesn’t have that characteristic about it.”

“HAWKE!” Aveline’s face was beginning to match her hair.

“Aveline. My name is on the title, you should know that. After all, you’re the one that was with me at the DMV. So, by all rights, not a stolen vehicle. But you look stressed. I’m gonna go before you do something reckless.” Safaera stood up and walked to the car, leaving Aveline standing there, jaw clenched and fists curling.

Duke rested his head on the middle console, and she awkwardly scratched behind his ears. “I’m okay. All good things come to an end, right buddy?” 

She pulled onto the street and headed back to Kirkwall. _ This day can’t possibly get any worse;_ the thought kept repeating in her head like a desperate mantra. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day just got worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to show off my Hawke. She's a reaver/berserker warrior Sword and Shield (aka a shield maiden)

Not wanting to return home, Safaera took the scenic route home. As she cruised down the road along the Wounded Coast, her phone began ringing. Without taking her eyes off the road, Safaera grabbed for her phone in the cupholder and answered.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Fae! I’m so sorry! I tried to convince Gamlen not to go!” Safaera’s knuckles turned white from how hard she gripped the steering wheel, panic seeping into her. _Nothing ever good happens when Gamlen is involved._

“Char, what do you mean?” She enunciated each word in a staccato fashion, attempting to keep her voice even.

“Aunt Leandra called. I didn’t hear the whole conversation, but I heard that she found some money and needed Gamlen to take her to the store since you wouldn’t go.”

An overwhelming sense of dread and panic fueled Safaera.  _ Where did she get the – no. No, Mom didn’t. Did she? _ She sped into town quickly, praying that she would get home soon and that this feeling was just her overreacting.

* * *

Safaera pulled into the driveway and ran into the house, with Duke hot on her heels. She rigorously checked the rooms downstairs, panic rising. She ran up the stairs and straight into her room. Safaera was stunned by the scene in front of her. Her room had been ransacked. It looked like a robber broke in and only searched her room.

“Maker, no.” The words were so soft, a desperate plea that she was dreaming this.

Desperation now sinking in, she searched her room. She cleaned as she went, causing her search to go longer. When she finished, only the savings bag remained untouched.  _ Andraste’s flaming ass! Really, Mom? Your daughter’s tuition money, and the money for our bills? _ She was silently thankful that it was those two, and not the savings. Safaera tucked the coin pouch in a new spot, then collapsed on the floor and cried in frustration. She crossed her arms atop her knees and cried into them. Duke tried to wiggle his head into her lap, but she didn’t budge.

Her mother was spiraling out of control. Safaera knew that Leandra blamed her for the loss of her husband and son. In addition to not seeking help, she drank away their savings to the point that Safaera had to step in and manage. Instead of both her and Bethany going to school, they could only send one. Safaera decided to support her sister, to give her better and attempt to shelter her from what their mother was becoming. Now, their mother had stolen from them. Safaera sat in the deafening silence, the only sound was Duke’s breathing and her sobs.

When she finally calmed down, Safaera wiped the tears from her face and grabbed her phone. She scrolled through her contacts list, absentmindedly petting the mabari laying across her lap. She reached the name she was looking for and tapped the name. Her thumb hesitated over the call button for a moment before going through with the call. The phone rang twice before the person picked up.

“Thank you for reaching Andraste’s Guidance Counseling, my name is Sebastian. How can I help you?”

“Sebastian, it’s me, Hawke.” She paused, drawing in a shaky breath. “You remember how you said that you’d help my mother if she needed it?”

“I remember, what’s wrong, Hawke.” Sebastian’s voice, calming, yet firm strengthened her resolve.

“She needs help, and she won’t willingly accept it from me. You – you talked about a rehab program for her. Can we still do that?” Fresh tears fell down her face and she hastily wiped them away.

“Of course, Hawke. I can come collect her now if you wish.”

“She’s not here, she took some money of mine that I hid and went out. I don’t know how long ago, but I know she’ll be home soon.” A chilling thought ran through her head, the realization now sinking in.  _ Where’s Mom? _

“What would you like me to do, Hawke? I can meet you somewhere or I can go to your place.” Before she could respond, Safaera heard the door open and the voices and her mother and uncle drifted up the stairwell.

“My place, as soon as you can. Thank you, Sebastian.” She hastily hung up and ran to the banister.

Sure enough, they were downstairs sitting in front of the fireplace. Gamlen was opening another bottle of wine when he looked up and saw her. He muttered to his sister, then scattered out of the house like an unwelcome rat seeing a cat. Safaera walked down the stairs, trying to delicately approach the subject.

“Mom, why?” Her voice left small and heartbroken. “That money was for Bethany’s tuition and our expenses! You went into my room! Invaded my privacy! Why?”

“Your sister didn’t tell you?” Leandra answered smugly, or as smugly as one can when heavily intoxicated. “Your sister had an assessment today. They are sending my baby girl to the Circle. THE CIRCLE!!” She screamed the last part. And Safaera’s world shattered.

“That’s not true! Mom, you’re drunk, you – you…No, Bethany wouldn’t allow it.”

“How about you ask her.” Leandra’s accusatory tone rang across the room as Bethany walked in.

Bethany stood next to her, barely making eye contact. However, despite Leandra’s best efforts to divert her attention, Safaera pursued the line of questioning.

“Why did you steal from me, Mom?” Keeping her voice calm was becoming a challenge. However, if she didn’t, her mother would disregard her, saying that she was being disrespectful, and yelling at her elders wasn’t tolerated.

There was a knock at the door and Safaera looked to Bethany. She left to get the door. Leandra and Safaera stood there, not speaking, but never breaking eye contact. She heard the soft whispering between Sebastian and Bethany, but not the words.

“Mother, I would like back whatever is left.” She reached out her hand, waiting for the coin purses. A vain hope that there was something, anything, left. Leandra tried denying, but Safaera refused to back down. She was serious when she told Aveline that she was tired of enabling her mother. She pitied her mother. For five years Leandra had done nothing but retreat into herself and push away her remaining family. Even moving back to Kirkwall hadn’t helped. The look must have been obvious on her face, because Leandra dug out the coin pouch and threw it at her, hitting her chest. It didn't hurt, but Bethany and Sebastian cried out as they walked in.

“Who is this?!” Leandra shrieked as Sebastian walked in.

“Good evening Madam Hawke, I am Sebastian Vael.” Safaera stepped in between Sebastian and her mother. 

“You need help, Mom. I can’t see you do this to yourself anymore.” Safaera’s eyes burned with unsplit tears. “Mom, please, if you won’t accept help from me or Bethany, let the Chantry help you. Sebastian is a counselor among them. They can help, please, Mom.” Finally, the tears began to fall freely again as Safaera began begging for her mother to listen.

Leandra’s brown eyes looked into hers, and for a moment, they were clear of their drunken haze. Safaera truly saw her mother for the first time in five years. She was gripping the sleeves of Leandra’s shirt and tears running down her eyes. Her mother’s face softened, and she gave a nod.

“Okay, my darling girl. I’ll go.” Safaera suddenly overwhelmed with what she heard, hugged her mother. After their hug, the two women walked up to Sebastian. He explained to them what would under their program and helped Leandra into the car after she packed enough clothes.

It felt as if the weight of the world was now off her shoulders, but before she could celebrate Safaera’s thoughts turned to Bethany. She waited for her sister to say something. When the silence remained unbroken, she spoke up.

“Are you sure you want this? We’ve done so much to keep you and Father out of the Circle, Bethy.”  _ Maker’s breath, I really hate emotions, _ she thought as tears silently fell down her cheeks.

“I’m tired of running, Fae. You’ve had to give up so much for me.” Bethany looked down in guilt.

“And I’d do it again. Bethy, you’re my sister. I will do anything and everything I can for you. But joining the Circle? You know, just as well as I do, what could happen in a Circle. He even kept you from being registered!”

“Fae, please don’t do anything rash. I’ve already made up my mind. I’m transferring into Circle tomorrow morning.” Bethany went back to her room and Safaera was left alone.

Safaera stood there, trying to process what had just happened. The walls seemed to collapse in on her the longer she stood there. The air was getting harder to breathe and she was starting to get dizzy Looking to escape the feeling, she pulled out her phone and started texting Varric.

_ <Shit hit the fan. I need to talk. (9:40 pm) _

When she sent out the message, Safaera opened a new message to Isabela.  _ So much for waiting for her to message me. _

_ <Looking for some fun tonight? (9:41 pm) _

After she sent the message to Isabela, Varric had replied.

_ **>Sure. Is everything okay? My place always open to you (9:42 pm)** _   
_<Not really. I’ll explain there. (9:43 pm)_

Safaera went to her room and changed if Isabela did respond to her. Not wanting to stay in the house a minute longer, she climbed onto her bike after locking up the house and sped towards Varric's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this is a little shorter than the last two. And I was super impatient to post


	4. Chapter 4

Safaera pulled into Varric's driveway. She gave up on trying to figure out why he would live in Lowtown. She walked up to the front door and went inside. The TV in the living room was on the local news station, but no one was watching it. The news anchors were going over the same reports that they had done earlier in the day. One of them was about the tighter restrictions of mages being in the University. Suddenly the news feed was cut, and the screen showed white noise for only a few seconds before it returned. There was a symbol of a broken Chantry Circle in the middle as silence filled the room. A figure then came onto the screen. Only his head and his shoulders were visible. He wore black-feathered pauldron, a face mask, his hood was drawn, and his eyes glowed almost lyrium blue. There was the same blue that cracked around his face.

“Citizens of Kirkwall,” His voice was deep, and it seemed to echo almost unnaturally. “We have come to you to seek justice for the mages. The Chantry is calling for all mages to be brought back into their Circles. The same Circles that are corrupt with the power-hungry and are rife with unchecked Templar abuses. We have had enough of our brethren be treated as a sin to the Maker. Magic is his gift, if magic is to serve man, then allow our mages to serve. The Circles are not the answer. Fight the injustice alongside me, do what is right, Kirkwall.”

The feed cut out and back to a stunned news anchor who had also just seen the broadcast. Safaera was taken aback. Nothing like that had happened before. Engrossed by the broadcast, she didn't hear her friends approach. 

“What was that about?” Varric muttered, making her jump at the sound of his voice.

“I don’t know, but he sounded like an abomination,” Fenris growled and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Boys, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Safaera tried to recover from the mild surprise and tried joking to ease the tension now growing in the room. She knew Fenris' views on magic but didn't have the energy to deal with it.

"Right, you didn't expect to see us, here, at my place. Nice try, Fae," Varric grinned up to her. They sat down in the living room and she absentmindedly watched the TV.

"Fae. You're avoiding the situation. What's going on?" Varric asked as the silence grew.

"Mom finally agreed to rehab." Safaera gave a weak smile. 

The silence fell once again, weighing on her. She wanted to believe that not acknowledging it would delay the inevitable. Tears she had kept repressed threatened to spill out. 

"Something else happened, didn't it?" Fenris took a hesitant step towards her. The words caught in her throat and the tears spilled down her cheeks as she just shook her head yes.

"What's wrong with, Sunshine?" Safaera couldn't hold back her sobs any longer and her strength left her body. Fenris caught her before she fell and eased her to the ground.

"Bethany is going into the Circle." She managed to choke out between sobs. She vigorously wiped the tears from her eyes, but more would take their place. "I should have convinced her to run, to join the Grey Wardens. Anything but joining the blighted Circle." Safaera started crying harder. 

The guys sat next to her, quietly, occasionally handing her a clean tissue or a pat on the back. When her crying finally quieted down, Safaera kept her eyes fixed on the ground. _I feel like a failure. I promised Dad that I would keep Bethany and Mom safe. Bethany is going to a Circle. How is that safe?_

"I know that look, Hawke," Fenris declared. "You are thinking of a way to keep Bethany from the Circle. Tell me, did the Templars come for her, or was it her choice?"

"Hers," she mumbled. It didn't lessen the sting.

"Then you have to trust your sister in what she's decided. She is a strong mage and I respect her as a person. She will do fine in the Circle."

"How dare you," Safaera turned to face Fenris. "It's because of her skill and her lack of Chantry training that will make her a target to the Templars. They will do all in their power to make her tranquil!" She started to stand up and head for the door when Fenris' head struck hers. The unexpected headbutt clearing her thoughts as she focused on the pain in the middle of her forehead.

"Bethany is one of the strongest mages I know, Safaera. She will not give in to the Templars. Have more faith in your sister. She has made her choice. What will yours be?"

_Maker's ass, Fenris is right. _Safaera rubbed her head. _Maker, why the hell does he have such a hard head?_

"You're right," she conceded. "I know you're right. I feel like I've failed. I was supposed to keep her safe." Her shoulders sagged dejectedly. Varric walked up to her and redirected her to the couch.

"Hey, your mom is finally getting help, this is great news, Fae!" Varric tried to remain optimistic. They had been trying to get help for Leandra since they moved to Kirkwall.

"She stole from me. Mom went into my room and found some of what I had hidden away." Safaera scoffed. _Yeah, Mom is in rehab now, but at what cost?_ Bitterness and depression swirled within her. Varric looked at her in disbelief.

"She did what? No, no, don't answer that. I can't believe that, Fae. Do you need a new place?"

"I’ll need a lock on my door. For now, I don’t want to be in that house.” Her chest felt tight when she thought about returning.

A quiet chime went off and Safaera grabbed her phone.

** _10:23 pm_ **

_~~ 1 unread message: Isabela ~~_

Safaera unlocked her phone and pulled up the message. Isabela had finally texted her back. If anyone would help her forget her troubles, Isabela would.

** _>Hey hot stuff. I’m always looking for fun _ ** ** _😘😘 (10:23 pm)  
_ ** _<Where are you staying? I’ll come to you _ _😉 (10:23 pm)_

“I thought you weren’t going to message Isabela first.” Fenris was standing beside her as she sent the text.

Safaera looked away guiltily as she made her way for the door. “Honestly, yes. But the Maker has a sense of humor when it comes to my life.”

“You can stay here, Hawke,” Varric added. Another chime. Fenris raised his eyebrows in a challenge. She opened it up and her heart fell even more.

** _>At the Blooming Rose, if you want to join. More the merrier (10:25 pm)_ **

Anger and jealousy bubbled in her chest. She and Isabela were never a thing, more of a hook-up, but Safaera hated sharing. She thought that by giving Isabela space she would change her mind and commit to her. She turned off her phone.

“Maybe you’re right. I’m not thinking clearly.” Safaera looked at the door, her eyes void of emotion.

“Going into the cage won’t help, Hawke.” Fenris stood in front of her. Her look never changed. She was tired of her emotions taking over. She wanted to forget, to feel the physical pain, instead of the emotional turmoil that she was undergoing right now.

“Then fight me. It’s been a while since we went at it.” Safaera took a defensive stance. A small voice in the back of her head whispered that fighting in Varric’s living room probably wasn’t the best idea. She was done listening to words and her conscious tonight.

Fenris matched her stare. The two mentally challenged each other while Varric groused in the background. Fenris broke eye contact first, walked away for a minute then came back with two sets of hand wraps.

“Not in my house,” Varric motioned out to the backyard. “I’ll be writing, if you need me.” He shouted over his shoulder as he walked to his office.

Safaera stripped down to her bare feet and put her phone on the coffee table. They wrapped their hands in silence. It was one of the things that Safaera enjoyed about sparring with Fenris. He understood that you can say more with no words at all. When both finished they walked outside. Varric had fenced in his backyard so he could have privacy from onlookers. It would serve them well for being able to fight. They squared up again once they stepped onto the grass. Neither of them moving to make the first move. It was a battle of wills in addition to strength for them. Impatience licked at Safaera’s mind as she took a half step forward and gave a light jab that Fenris easily blocked. Their punches started slow but quickly picked up when they gained a rhythm. She was growing more frustrated as time went on, Fenris was only blocking and defending, never really putting any effort into going on the offensive. She knew her attacks were sloppy.

“Will you,” she swung her left fist at him only to be blocked, “actually fight back.” Safaera tried kicking him but was stopped when he grabbed her ankle and a smug smirk played across his lips.

“As you wish.” He pulled her off her balance and began taking the offensive.

Fenris barely gave her an opening, and every hit he made was controlled in strength. Had she taken the full brunt of his attacks she would have trouble standing soon. After ten minutes Safaera ended up on her back in defeat. She looked at the waning moon above them and allowed the night to pass. Fenris sat next to her and joined her in the impromptu moongazing moment. The fight had help her calm down. Her emotions finally were back under her control and she could organize her thoughts. Safaera sat up when she started to get cold. Fenris had already taken off his hand wraps and was laying back on the grass. She took her wraps off and handed them back to Fenris.

“Thank you,” she addressed him. Fenris simply grunted a reply. “Come on, go inside if you’re going to sleep. I’m going to go home.” Safaera stood up and stretched.

“Are you sure?” Fenris walked into the house with her and locked the door.

“Yeah, it sucks, but Bethany leaves tomorrow.” Safaera gave him a small smile, “I should be with her until they take her.” Fenris simply nodded and walked her to the front door where she put her shoes back on and kept her phone turned off and shoved it into an empty pocket.

“Take tomorrow off, Fae. Varric and I will have it covered.”

“I hate it when you’re right.” She waved him off as she walked into the night with, Fenris laughter drifting on the wind. “Let Varric know I went home.” She left Varric’s feeling more relieved than she had on her run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry Safaera, I hate making you cry.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time she pulled into the driveway, weariness began to take over. Unaware if Bethany was asleep, Safaera entered in as quietly as she could. When she walked into the living room, Bethany stood up.

"Fae," Bethany called out, but before she could continue Safaera walked up to her sister and hugged her. She felt Bethany shake as she held her.

"You'll be okay, Bethy," she lulled her sister. Bethany rested her head on Safaera's shoulder and started crying. "You are a strong and confident mage that can endure whatever the Circle can throw at you. What did Dad always teach you?”

“My magic will serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base.” Bethany sniffled as her grip tightened. “Fae, I’m scared.”

“I know. Me too.” Safaera wished she could reassure her sister that she would be fine. "Whe - when do they come to..." She didn't even want to finish the question. It would make it real.

"Around noon." Bethany's quiet voice seemed to mirror her feelings. It was real, and this time, they couldn't run away.

Bethany pulled away and dried her eyes. Without another word, they both headed to their rooms for the night. Safaera found Duke fast asleep in the middle of her bed. She changed and put her phone on the charger. The phone's notification light was flashing in the corner.

** _11:26 pm_ **

_~~ 10 unread messages ~~_

Safaera opened the messages to see that Isabela had messaged her. She was too emotionally spent to care about ignoring Isabela. _She'll be fine. She always finds someone else._ A flicker of jealousy pulled at her heart. In the past it would have been enough to send her running to the Rivaini model, now she was tired of the game.

** _>Can't wait to have some fun. _ ** ** _😘😘 (10:33 pm)_ **

**_>Let's have some girly fun _**_😉_ **_(10:40 pm)_**

** _>Saf are you playing hard to get? It doesn't work (11:06 pm)_ **

** _>I'm bored now. (11:08 pm)_ **

The rest of the messages that Isabela sent were selfies of her and whatever person she happened to be next to. She closed out of the messages and double-checked her alarm. Safaera pulled back the covers as much as she could and pushed Duke out of the way as she reclaimed her bed. She gravitated to the warm spot on the bed and allowed sleep to overcome her.

* * *

The alarm went off and Safaera woke up feeling a weight on her chest. She tried to move and heard Duke tired whine in protest. Blearily opening her eyes, she found Duke laying across her stomach and Bethany's head on her shoulder.

_When did Bethany come in?_ Safaera rubbed her eyes as she turned off her alarm. She noticed more messages from Isabela but refused to look at them. Safaera looked at Bethany. Bethany had monopolized the bed. _Justice must be swift and unforgiving._ She went to the foot of the bed and after silently coaxing Duke off the bed, ripped off the blankets.

“Get her, Duke!” They both jumped back onto the bed when Bethany was startled when the two of them jumped on her in a combined tickle attack. Laughter filled the room as Bethany tried to stop Safaera’s attack. Safaera stopped when she couldn’t stop laughing and collapsed beside her sister.

“So, couldn’t sleep last night?”

“As if! I didn’t want you to be lonely.” Safaera rolled her eyes and sat up again.

“Let’s go crazy with breakfast.” The girls shared an impish grin and ran to the kitchen to start breakfast.

* * *

The kitchen, once clean, now had flour and pancake batter. What had started out as a quiet breakfast turned into a small, but playful, fight that left both of them laughing and covered in batter. Safaera had convinced Bethany to go get cleaned up first while she started cleaning up the kitchen. It was an unspoken promise not to mention the time. Being alone, however, her mind couldn’t help but glance at the clock and counting down the minutes until she had to let her sister go. It went against _everything_ she stood for. Damn the consequences for housing an apostate. She would live her life on the run just to keep her family safe. Their dad did for a time, surely she and Bethany could do it, couldn’t they? The kitchen was only halfway cleaned when Bethany came back downstairs. Safaera left, unwilling to break the illusion just yet, and got cleaned up and took Duke out. After she got back in the house, Bethany wasn’t in the kitchen.

“Bethy?”

“Just a minute!” Her sister replied from upstairs. She came out of her room and stood by the banister. “What’s up?”

The request to just run died on her lips. _I can’t do that to her, she’s chosen this path._ Safaera took a deep breath to soothe her heart, “How about we watch some TV?” She motioned to the living room.

“Yeah, I’ll be down in a minute. No cartoons!” Bethany looked over her shoulder towards her room, as if she was hiding something.

“No promises!” She replied as she went into the living room. Safaera pulled out her phone and checked the time. For the umpteenth time that morning.

** _10:48 am_ **

** **

_A little over an hour. Can I really do it?_ She returned the phone to her pocket and turned on a home improvement channel. Something that both of them would enjoy. Bethany came down and joined shortly after. Safaera tried not to think of the time getting closer, but she couldn’t sit still. There were other options for Bethany than going into the Circle. What terrified her was that their father never registered Bethany as a mage. _What if she is punished for not being registered? What will they do to her?_ The worse case scenarios kept circling her mind. Safaera had to walk away to clear her head. It wouldn’t help either of them for her to be in this mindset.

“Sister,” Bethany’s voice was soft, almost consoling as if she knew her thoughts.

“I know,” she gave Bethany a half-hearted smile. They went back to the living room, the dream now shattered and reality crashing down on them and time ticked on.

* * *

There was a firm knock on the door. They walked to the front door together and she saw Bethany’s bags already at the door. Every fiber of her being screamed at her to fight and to keep her sister safe away from the Chantry and Templars. Her feet were rooted to the floor, unconsciously in her fighting stance, as Bethany answered the door. Three silhouettes stood in the morning light and Safaera recognized all of them. The two in the back had participated in the underground cage fighting, had fought against her, and lost. The man in front was none other than Knight-Commander Cullen Rutherford, or Curly as Varric liked to refer to him.

“Sister, you promised,” Bethany pleaded as she recognized the scowl and stance that Safaera had. She adjusted her posture but her the scowl never left her face.

Cullen matched her stare with a neutral one. “Since Miss Bethany has agreed to come to the Circle willingly, there will be no charges of harboring unregistered apostates.”

Safaera refused to say anything, or move from her spot. The two men behind Cullen grabbed Bethany’s luggage as if it were trash to be hauled away and it was only the three of them in the front entrance. Bethany gave the house one last look before locking eyes with her sister. The words they could have said hung in the air. Safaera took a step back, yielding to Bethany, tears pooling in her eyes. Bethany left without a goodbye, the door closing behind her. Safaera stumbled to the door, her fist pounding on the door in anger as the tears fell down. She was so _mad_ that this had to happen. She was mad at herself for not preventing it. Mad at the Chantry for their accursed rule. Mad at Cullen for taking her away. Mad at her mother for her drinking problem. The anger seemed to consume her but she refused to let in out. She didn’t know how long she stood at the door fist clenched tight as her arms and forehead rest upon it. Duke let out a pitiful howl that echoed through the whole house. When her anger finally faded, Safaera felt empty and walked to her room. When she got to the door, she saw a note taped to the door with Bethany’s handwriting.

> _Fae,_
> 
> _I need your help with something. I wasn’t able to get a hold of my friend and I was unfortunately stuck with a situation. If you can, can you return them to Anders, he’ll know what to do. You can find him in a clinic near your arena. The sooner you can help, the better it is for them._
> 
> _PS: _ _I’m sorry, I know this is the last thing you wanted for me. I love you._
> 
> _Bethy_

Curiosity pulled at Safaera. _What in Maker’s name is she talking about?_ She walked to Bethany’s room and hesitantly opened the door. She and Duke were greeting to the tiny cries of several kittens that originated from a box in the middle of the room. Duke nudged his way in and made his way to the box. He peered in, tail wagging as he sniffed the kittens. He sat by the box and gave her a happy smile.

“Oh, you knew?” She chided the mabari. “What did she have kittens for?” She peered into the box and 4 sets of eyes looked back at her. Her heart melted at the sight of them. The voice in the back of her head told her to pick up every single one and love on it, and by the Maker’s grace, she managed to resist the urge.

Not wanting to walk around Darktown for long, Safaera looked for the clinic that Bethany mentioned. When she couldn’t find it she checked the note and found a map on the back. She stuck the note in her pocket with her phone, grabbed the car keys and box of four unruly and surprisingly noisy kittens and went to the car. She got the box secured in the front seat when Duke barreled of the door and into the back of the car before she could say no.

“You want to see them off?” Duke gave a short bark in reply. “Fine, but we are not keeping them.” Duke hung his head as if he was sad that he wasn’t getting to keep the litter of kittens. “I’m not changing my mind, Duke.” Safaera got in the front seat and drove to the clinic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter seems short to me. I know its about my average length. But still. Oh well. Maybe its the sleep deprivation talking. What do I know?


	6. Chapter 6

Safaera arrived at the clinic the map indicated. To her, it looked more like a storehouse rather than a clinic. She looked into the box of kittens and locked eyes with the midnight black kitten. It stretched out its paw to her as if asking to be held. Duke whined beside her, encouraging her to pick the kitten up.

“Nope,” she shook her head, “I said we couldn’t keep them.” She quickly got out of the car, let Duke out and fastened the leash to his collar, and grabbed the box. When she had a comfortable grip on the box, she walked into the clinic.

“How can I help you?” A woman behind a desk called out to her.

“Uh, I’m here to see Anders? My sister said that he’d know what to do with these guys.” She indicated the box. The woman waved her over and peeked in.

“You’re Bethany’s sister, right?” She just nodded in response. “Alright, go down the hall, and it’s the last door on the right.”

“Thanks.”

She left to find the door. When she arrived, the door was closed. She deftly moved the box, so it rested against her hip, and with a free hand, she knocked on the door. The door opened, and a man, she assumed to be Anders, stood before her.

_Maker’s Breath, Bethany, you didn’t tell me he looked like this!_ She locked eyes with him and couldn’t breathe for a moment. Safaera just stood there, unable to say a word.

“Can I help you?” His voice broke her of her stupor.

“Um, are you Anders?”

“Who’s asking?” He crossed his arms defensively over his chest and waited for her response.

“You can call me Hawke. Look, Bethany said that you would know what to do with these guys.” She offered him the box of kittens.

“Hawke? You’re Bethany’s sister?” Anders’s posture relaxed a little, but he made no move to take the box.

“If I said yes, would you take this box?”

“Here, set it on the table.” He stepped away from the door, holding it open for her. She walked in and gently set the box on the table. Anders looked into the box, and she noticed the once stern expression melt into a small smile for the kittens. Not wanting to seem like she was staring, she looked at Duke and rubbed his head affectionately.

“Hawke, why did Bethany ask you to bring these guys in?” Safaera stopped petting Duke. She was trying so hard not to think of the injustice of her sister being taken, and how they did _nothing_ to stop it. “Hawke, what’s happened with Bethany?”

She lifted her head and met his amber eyes. “She decided to go to the Circle willingly.” There was a change in the atmosphere around them for a fraction of a second. Anders, who looked indifferent with her earlier, now shook with anger.

“And you didn’t stop her?” He flung his accusation as if she willingly allowed the decision.

“You don’t think I _tried_? That was my sister, my only family that I have a decent relationship with. I would have never _willingly_ given her over to them when I spent my life keeping them from her!” She seethed back at him. Safaera wasn’t quite over the anger she had. “You don’t know me. You don’t get to judge me!” She turned and started to leave the examination room.

“Wait!” Anders followed after her for a step when Duke gave a warning growl, causing him to stop in his tracks. She kept her back turned to him but hesitated in the doorway. Tears were forming in her eyes.

“Well?” Her tone came out harsher than she intended. _Don’t cry in front of him._ She chastised herself and blinked back the tears.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Bethany always spoke highly of you. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”

She hesitated before closing the door. Staying where she was, Safaera turned to face him. “I assume that you are the one Bethany was trying to convince to go back to class.”

“She talked about me?” He seemed genuinely surprised.

“Overheard the conversation sometimes.”

“Then you know of our plight?” His voice became more determined.

“If you mean the mages being under tighter restrictions and under more supervision by the Chantry, then yes.” His eyes lit up, he started to talk, but she cut him off. “I also don’t agree with it, but I have no power to change it. Maker only knows how I wish I could.”

During their conversation, Duke had walked up to the examination table, and the black kitten had started playing with him. Safaera just sat and watched them.

“He’s really good with them.” She just raised her eyebrow at him, waiting for a feeble explanation. “He’s come in with them once before. I think the black one has taken to Duke.”

“I know nothing about caring for cats, and I hardly have time for one. I work two jobs somedays.”

Anders gave a soft laugh, “Well, I think Duke can help out with that.” As if on cue, Duke barked happily, tail wagging and the kitten’s and Duke’s eyes looked at her as if they were pleading. Trying to stand by her convictions, she tried saying no, but the look on her dog’s face made her stop.

“What if I need more help? I'm clueless with cats.”

Anders pulled out a pen and paper and scribbled down something before pulling out a brochure that was an info-packet that read, **_“First-time Cat Owners Tips and Tricks,”_** and handed both to her. The paper had a phone number on it.

“Then feel free to call or text. Oh, wait!” He began making a list of things the kitten would need and handed it to her as she pocketed the other papers she had. “This is what you’ll need right now. I’m glad you’re adopting him.”

She looked at Anders, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Black cats are harder to adopt out and are often met with superstition. Much like the misconceptions about mabaris, I suppose.”

Safaera looked at her two cast-aways and gave a heavy sigh. She picked up the kitten and held it close to her chest. _How can I turn it away when he says something like that?_

“Okay, Duke and Mister Wiggums, you win.”

“Mister Wiggums?” Anders challenged.

“What would you name it then?” Anders stretched his hand out for the kitten. Safaera handed him over, and Anders looked over the kitten.

“No, that’s a fine name for him.” Anders smiled at her, returning the kitten to her.

She took the kitten and held it to her chest; however, the cat seemed more interested in squirming around and tried to nuzzle under her neck. Double-checking that everything was in order, she walked out, her mind still sorting out their encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that I disappeared!!! Holidays man, they get in the way.


	7. Chapter 7

At first, caring for the kitten was easy. Duke had enough energy to keep him entertained and mostly out of trouble. Safaera learned that Mister Wiggums was quite affectionate and would insist on cuddling her at all hours of the day. However, the longer the cat stayed, the more mischievous he became. Mister Wiggums loved jumping up to the top of the bookshelf and sleeping in front of the air vent, much to Safaera's disapproval. How he'd get up there, was a mystery to her. Today she was going into work, then into the cage. It would be the first day without her home. She tried her best to close off the study and limit his play area to where he needed the most. Mister Wiggums was curled next to Duke, who watched Safaera whisper her goodbyes and left as quietly as she could.

"Fae!" Varric's voice broke her thoughts. "You're starting to make me nervous. What's got you all stirred up?"

She looked down sheepishly, "I'm worried about Mister Wiggums. I won't be home until later tonight, and he is surprisingly mischievous for a kitten."

Varric snorted. "I can have someone check if you're so worried."

Safaera thought about it. The last time she allowed Varric to send someone, Merrill had ended up in more trouble than was thought possible.

"I'm okay," she shrugged, trying to play it off.

"Why did you adopt a cat?" Fenris asked, not looking up from his work.

"I learned that black cats don't get adopted because of superstition."

"You are too willing to involve yourself in the affairs of others, Hawke."

"What was I supposed to do? I mean, look at him!" Safaera showed the lock screen of her phone to Fenris.

It was a picture of Mister Wiggums sitting on top of Duke's head. He just looked at the picture. Safaera's only clue to a reaction was the subtle twitch in his ears before he returned to his work.

"Well?" She pressed him for an answer.

"We should move on." Fenris' abrupt answer put an end to that conversation.

* * *

Safaera worked quietly as she wrapped her hands. She focused on her breathing and keeping a clear mind. A lot had happened that week, and all of it centered around her family. By the time she was ready, there was a knock on her door.

"They're ready for you, Reaver," a small boy pushed open the door. 

She hid the scowl on her face and walked silently down the hall. The kid beside her bounced excitedly. She met Varric and Fenris by the doorway, still waiting for her announcement.

"It's a Tal-Vashoth, Hawke," Fenris said as she walked up.

"Well, shit." Before she could add anything else, a booming announcement cued her to make her entrance. She shrugged off her jacket and handed it to Varric and walked into the cage to find her qunari competition staring at her.

Safaera met his stare in equal measure.

"I will not fight this basra."

Safaera lifted her eyebrow. "What? You're forfeiting? Realize that you can't actually beat me?" The taunt seemed to work as the Tal-Vashoth in front of her sneered.

"Basra vashedan, you will regret that."

_I already do._ Safaera gave a shit-eating grin in response.

The two fighters circled each other in the ring after being told to start. Before she could make the first move, her opponent charged her with blinding speed, hitting her square in the temple. She stumbled back a few paces and blocked the next attack, the pain now fueling her thoughts. She allowed the qunari to attack her as she blocked, reading him and his openings. When the qunari backed off, he dropped his guard, thinking she wasn't a threat. Before he could speak, Safaera landed a strong punch on his solar plexus, causing the giant to double over and return his opening hit. She tried for his left side, but he blocked her attack. He recovered faster than she had hoped for. She noticed an opening and kneed his hip only to lower her guard to have his fist hit her mouth.

_Well, so much for taking it slow. _Safaera spat out a mouthful of blood and grinned and the Tal-Vashoth before her. She began to recklessly attack. Despite the speed he displayed earlier, she was the faster of the two. She only managed to take another hit to the ribs before grabbing his horns, throwing him to the ground and pinning him until he tapped out. She knew the crowd was cheering, and the announcer beside her was talking, but her head was ringing. Those hits to her head were now catching up to her. Instead, she shook her head, pumped a fist up, basking in the limelight before walking off to the locker room. Fenris and Varric stood just outside.

"What's wrong?" Safaera sensed that there was something off about them.

Fenris started to say something when Varric grabbed his arm.

"Fenris?" She pressed.

"Isabela was watching tonight. She left before you finished."

"She's her own person. She can do what she wants."

Safaera tried to shake the feeling in her chest but only increased her headache. She began changing, hand wraps first, then street clothes, and cleaning out the cuts that were on her face. When she was finished, she pulled out her phone.

** _10:18 pm_ **

_~~1 new message: Isabela~~_

Dreading the message, she opened it. It was a selfie of Isabela holding Mister Wiggums. For whatever reason, that angered her the most. She slammed the locker door shut and barreled out of the door

"Sorry, Fen, something's come up at home."

Safaera tried to keep a steady pace. She got to her bike and sped home. If Isabela was still there, they needed to talk.

Of course, by the time she got there, Isabela was gone. While it was annoying, it wasn't the thing she was worried about.

Duke was standing by the tree, trying to climb up. And between his whining, she heard the soft and feeble cries of her kitten.

"Wiggums! How, in Andraste's name, did you get up there?"

Safaera began to panic. She hated heights, even climbing a simple two-step ladder is too much sometimes. She tried reaching for the branch that her kitten was on, but she couldn't get it. She thought about who to call and ask for help. Varric and Fenris were busy; Merrill could probably help, but it would take forever; Aveline would just scoff and hang up; Isabela is conceivably the one that put him up there.

_Anders._ The thought dawned on her suddenly. "Duke, keep an eye on him!" She yelled back at the mabari as she ran inside to find the number he had given her. Her hands were shaking as she put in the number and sent the text.

_<Hey, Anders. It's me, Hawke. There's been an emergency. I need your help. (10:36 pm)_

She sent the message and went back outside to keep an eye on her kitten. Her phone dinged a minute later.

** _>Yeah, what's up? (10:37 pm)_ **

_<Wiggums is stuck in a tree. I can't get him down. Can you help? (10:37 pm)_

** _>I'm on my way. Still in hightown, right? (10:39 pm) _ **

_<That's right. Thank you, Anders. (10:39 pm)_

She put her phone in her pocket and waited. The kitten's cries pulled at her heart as she quietly murmured her apologies over her fear. When Anders pulled up, she was shivering. Safaera refused to go inside until the cat was safe.

"Hawke, I'm here." Safaera turned to look at him. "Maker, what happened to you? Are you all right?" He started approaching her.

She tilted her head quizzically before remembering her earlier activities that evening. She'd forgotten about the pulsing throb in her head until he mentioned it.

"You should see the other guy." She tried to be nonchalant. It wasn't exactly wise to mention that she fights illegally to a person she had only just met.

"Seriously, that doesn't look good." He reached for her temple, but she stepped away from his touch. 

"Anders, the cat," she huffed and pointed to her kitten. "We can solve this two ways: you find a ladder, or I give you a boost."

Anders just looked at her like she was talking in a foreign tongue. "Why didn't you just get a ladder?"

Safaera shifted uncomfortably and crossed her arms. "Heights and I don't agree with each other. Besides, I don't know how long he's been out here. My ex broke into my house and threw him out. The sooner we can get him in, the better."

"Alright, fine, but you're gonna let me have a look at those injuries. Give me a boost, I guess." She just nodded in agreement.

Safaera positioned herself against the tree and interlocked her hands, forming a step to allow Anders to gain the needed height to save the cat. After rescuing Mister Wiggums, they all went inside and sat in the kitchen. When Duke and Mister Wiggums were eating, Safaera tried to walk away.

"Hawke," Anders's stern voice stopped her in her tracks. He was then in front of her and inspecting her face.

"What happened, exactly? Are you hurt anywhere else."

"I'm _fine, _Anders. I appreciate the concern, but some ice, a bit of elfroot, and sleep, and I'll be good as new." She tried to smile, but the cut on her lip hurt a little more than she'd like to admit.

"I'm not going to tell anyone. I just need to know the full extent."

They stared at each other in silent challenge, before Safaera sighed.

"You're worse than Bethany," she retorted as she took off her jacket to show the bruising. "I'm sure I have a concussion, my cut lip, my left ribs, and my arms. That's it."

"Do you want to tell me why?" Anders crossed his arms across his chest.

"How is that relevant?"

"Does this happen often?"

"As often as I'd like. Again, relevance?" A scowl was settling on Anders's face. Either he was going to give up on prodding, or he would guess. He didn't press the matter and started on healing the wounds on her ribs first.

As Anders began healing, Safaera quietly observed him. She noticed when she first met him was his height. His hair was a shade darker than hers and a bit longer, too, as he kept half of it pulled back. Anders finally began healing her face, starting with the cut on her lip. His honey eyes focused intently on her injures. Safaera still found him as handsome as when she first saw him. His intense focus only adding to the definition in his face. When he finished, Anders stepped back to observe his work.

"How do you feel?" Safaera took the time to inspect her injuries. Anders was a talented healer; it was as if she never took a hit in the first place. Her concussion was gone too. She met his stare and gave him a genuine smile.

"A lot better. Thank you, Anders, and thank you for helping with the cat." Anders looked away first and down to the abandoned food bowls. She saw the look on his face. Anders was trying to find the words to say, so she set about making them a cup of tea.

When both of them had a cup in front of them, Safaera sat silently. It was by no means an interrogation, but the tension in the room could have said otherwise.

"Hawke, those weren't normal bar fight injuries," Anders started after finishing half of his drink.

"No, they weren't," she responded calmly. "Anders, I appreciate the help, but it would be best if you didn't press this."

"Bethany mentioned cage fighting." That same intense gaze that Anders had while he was working was now focused on her.

"Did she?" Safaera sipped her tea. _Bethany never said anything. She must really trust Anders to say that_. "She was right."

This time, it was Anders's turn to be quiet.

"Will you keep fighting?"

"Are you worried about me?" She gave a coy smile, and a small blush dusted Anders's cheeks.

"Surely you don't need to keep fighting? I know it was a big concern with Bethany."

"Don't call me Shirly," Safaera waited for a smile to crack on Anders's. "Honestly, though? I don't know. Right now, it's the only thing I have that keeps my life normal." Anders nodded in response. The two sat in a comfortable silence for the first time that evening before his phone went off.

"Maker, I didn't know it was this late!" Together they walked to the front door. Anders was muttering to himself the list of things he needed to do before his shift tomorrow and walked out into the night.

Before he got into his car, Safaera called out, "Anders."

He stopped and looked at her. "Thank you, really."

"Night, Hawke." He called back and drove off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hella inspired as I post another chapter so soon.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is it that Anders POV is difficult *sigh*  
I also wish that cat was mine but its not.

Anders had only expected to help rescue a cat. He didn't think he would find Hawke injured.

_Bethany wasn't exaggerating when she said that her sister often comes in bloodied and bruised. But why?_

Bethany would dodge the subject on why. Until tonight, he had assumed that Hawke just got into bar fights. Anders didn't smell any alcohol on her, and apart from her mild concussion, she was holding herself up pretty well. The injuries to her face were the most severe until he found a few cracked ribs.

_She's behaving just as dodgy as Bethany. _ _Maker, what was she doing to get these injuries?_

As Anders healed her arms, he inspected her hands. He didn't find any cuts that came from fighting with unprotected hands. He thought back to the two gentlemen that stumbled into his clinic, lamenting about how someone named Reaver cheated and should have lost to the two of them. When he inquired about how they got their injuries, all he got was "in the cage." At the time, those words didn't make sense, but he healed them. Now, almost a week later, he pieced it together. They were cage fighting. There are rumors that circle around Darktown about illegal cage fights. 

"Hawke, those weren't normal bar fight injuries." He suspected that Hawke was a cage fighter.

"No, they weren't," she responded calmly. "Anders, I appreciate the help, but it would be best if you didn't press this."

"Bethany mentioned cage fighting," he said impulsively. Anders relaxed a bit at her surprise. 

"Did she?" Hawke looked away from him. "She was right." She returned his intense look, and Anders's heart skipped a beat.

"Will you keep fighting?" _Why am I asking? I hardly know her; what does it matter?_

"Are you worried about me?" A faint blush crept onto Anders's face. Hawke was quite charming.

**_Focus._** Within him, Justice called out. Anders allowed himself a moment to clear his mind.

"Surely, you don't need to keep fighting?" I know it was a big concern with Bethany." He noticed that Hawke responded to her sister. 

"Don't call me Shirly." Her face became stern.

Anders looked at her, puzzled until he saw the beginnings of a smile, and he gave a soft chuckle. "Honestly, though? I don't know. Right now, it's the only thing I have that keeps my life normal."

Anders could respect that. From what he knew, their mother was a piece of work, and Bethany just went to the Circle. He understood the desire to trying to keep things as they were. As Anders finished the tea she had prepared them, his phone went off. He nearly dropped it when he saw the time.

**11:30 pm**  
~~1 new message~~

"Maker, I didn't know it was this late!" _How did I let the time slip away?_ Anders made his way to the door, embarrassed for overstaying. By the time he got his car door open, Hawke had called out to him and thanked him. Anders said his goodbyes and drove off.

* * *

Two days later, Anders's phone went off. He checked to see who it was from. Instead of opening it, he did his best to ignore it. About twenty minutes later, he received another text. He sighed and unlocked his phone, and sure enough, there were two messages from Hawke. 

** _>Hey, I was wondering, will you respond only if it's cat related? (11:08 am)_ **

** _> (11:30 am)_ **

Anders smiled at his phone. _Maybe getting to know her wouldn't be so bad._

** _>I'll just keep texting until you tell me no. (11:32 am)  
_ ** _<Sorry, I was busy. Yeah. You can text me about whatever (11:33 am)_

As soon as he had set his phone down, it had gone off again.

** _>What do you like to do for fun? (11:33 am)_ **

Of course, that's her first question.

_<I don't get much time to myself honestly. (11:34 am)_

Anders stared at the computer screen in front of him. He was writing his manifesto. Some days, writing came easy, but today was not one of those days. Again, his phone went off.

** _>What about favorite foods? (11:40 am)  
_ ** _<Idk haven't really thought about it. (11:40 am)_

Anders returned his attention to the computer. It'd been almost a week since he did the live broadcast. The first couple of days, it was all the news could talk about, and Anders hoped that people would begin talking about how mages should have their freedom. Now, the chatter had died down, and he was back to square one.

** _>Cats or Dogs (11:42 am)_ **

Anders chuckled at the question. Surely, she knew?

_<Cats (11:42 am)_   
** _>Pizza or tacos (11:43 am)_ **   
_<Pizza (11:43 am)_   
** _>What kind? (11:43 am)_ **   
_<Hawaiian (11:44 am)_   
** _>Beer or liquor (11:44 am)_ **   
_<Ferelden ale (11:44 am)_   
** _>Video games or tv shows (11:45 am)_ **   
_<Depends. Why do you wanna know (11:45 am)_

She had him curious now. _Why did she want to know?_ He didn't have to wait long for her answer.

** _>Do you wanna find out? answer the question (11:47 am)_ **   
_<Tv shows are fine. I guess (11: 48 am)_   
** _>Anything in particular? (11:48 am)_ **   
_<Idk (11:48 am)_

A few shows came to mind, but he wanted to see her reaction.

** _>Next day off? (11:49 am)_ **

Anders bewilderedly stared at his phone. _She's not asking me on a date, is she?_

** _> ??? (12:00 pm)_ **   
_<This Thursday. (12:00pm)_   
** _>Cool. my place at 2p. Figure out what we're binge-watching (12:01 pm)_ **

_So it's not a date, right?_ Anders antagonized over the exchange. _Surely, she didn't mean it as a date. We hardly know each other._ Not fully convincing himself, he put his phone away and attempted to focus on the manifesto for the rest of the evening.

* * *

It was like he blinked, and it was Thursday. During the week, Hawke kept texting him, mostly about insignificant things, but talking with her had been an intriguing distraction. Justice wasn't too fond of Anders's growing interest but didn't interfere. Anders went to his closet and pulled on a clean long sleeve shirt and pushed the sleeves up, showing his forearms. He nearly grabbed a clean scrub shirt when he caught himself and instead grabbed the pair of jeans and slipped on his old sneakers.

Anders stood in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to decide if what he was wearing was appropriate for a not date-date. Before he could talk himself out of going, he left his apartment and walked to his car. His ride was a 15-year-old purple Taurus with a white hood that had its passenger side mirror held together with zebra duct tape. It may not have been the fanciest car around, but it had character, and it ran most of the time. However, today was proving to be one of those picky days as he drove to Hawke's place. When he was half-way there, the car started shaking. He pulled into a nearby gas station and shut off the engine.

** _<Sorry I can't come over today. My car started acting up (1:50 pm)_ **

Anders dejectedly searched for a tow truck. A small part of him was looking forward to seeing what Hawke had prepared for them today. Before he had started his search, Hawke had responded.

_>Where are you at? I could take a look (1:51 pm)_   
** _<It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna get it towed (1:51 pm)_ **   
_>Don't waste your money. Where are you (1:52 pm)_   
** _<At a gas station by the hanged man (1:52 pm)_ **

Anders waited for her reply, but when none came, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and defeatedly stared at his car. Five minutes later, someone on a motorcycle pulls up. Anders did a double-take to find the rider was Hawke. She set the helmet on the seat and walked up to his car.

"Do you think you can drive it across the street?"

"Where?" Hawke just pointed to the shop that was on the other side of the street. He just nodded, trying to figure out what her plan was. 

"Follow me then." She put the helmet back on her head and started her bike up with ease. 

Anders started up his car after the third try and followed her across the street. He could only watch as she banged on the metal garage door. The door opened up, and an elf with white hair and tattoos covering his arms started talking to her and looking over at him. Eventually, the elf walked away, waving her off, and Hawke ushered him in. When Anders pulled in, Hawke approached him.

"Kill it and go through that door." She pointed to the glass door that leads into a lobby.

"What about you?"

Anders's heart skipped a beat at her smile. "I'm gonna see what's going on with your car. Now shoo."

As Hawke got closer to him, he became aware of how close they were as she grabbed the keys out of his hand.

"You can't just muscle your way into a shop and do what you want!"

Hawke looked confused until she caught onto his meaning and gave a wry chuckle.

"Don't worry about it. I work here," she grabbed his shoulders and walked him to the lobby door. "Now, let me work."

He pulled open the door and walked inside. _I thought she was just a cage fighter. _He was engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't see the dwarf approach him.

"Let me guess you're Hawke's friend." The voice called from beside him, causing Anders to jump slightly.

"Yeah, is she always that...decisive." The dwarf laughed.

"Interesting word there, Blondie."

"Blondie?"

"So, how do you know, Fae?"

"Who?"

"Hawke." The dwarf raised his eyebrow at him like the answer was obvious.

"Who's asking?"

"Forgive me," the dwarf said with mild sarcasm, "Varric Tethras. How do you do?"

Before Anders could answer, Hawke came in.

"Varric, play nice. Anders, you don't have to answer him."

Varric gave a mock gasp, "Fae, you wound me." Hawke smirked back at Varric, then returned her attention back to him.

"So, you have a bad starter and bad spark plugs."

Anders rubbed the back of his neck. _There is no way I can pay for this. _"Hawke - "

"Don't worry about it. You helped me the other night. Consider this as repayment." She walked back out before he could protest. Anders looked to Varric to see if that really happened.

"It's as she says, Blondie." Varric walked into the office and closed the door, leaving Anders alone in the lobby.

* * *

A few hours later, Hawke came back in.

"You're good to go, Anders." 

"Hawke, you're sure?"

"How about this, Saturday, when you finish work, we'll do what I originally had planned for today."

"Why?" He couldn't understand her reasoning on wanting to spend time with him.

"I want to get to know you, but if it makes you uncomfortable, we could go our separate ways after this."

"No!" Anders took a small step toward her. "I mean, I'm just surprised, is all."

She handed Anders his keys and walked him to his car. For the first time in a while, the car started up smoothly. He waved to Hawke before he left. The whole ride home, Anders couldn't get Hawke out of his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: What is grammar, and why should I use it properly???


	9. Chapter 9

Tuesday did not go as she had planned. Though, it wasn't a complete loss. She was pretty sure that his opinion of her had shifted. She didn't know why she was so invested in his opinion. Maybe it was because he thought that she had let Bethany go to the Circle or had even sold her out.

_Maybe I'm overthinking it._ She sighed dejectedly over the car she was working on. _I should just stop thinking about it._

Despite her efforts to not think about it, Safaera kept thinking about Anders.

"Glowering at the engine isn't going to fix it, Hawke." Fenris stepped up beside her and looked at the engine.

"Sorry, Fen." She sat up and closed the hood down on the car. "It wasn't the engine. I was thinking about something else."

"Or someone else." Fenris rolled his eyes at her.

Safaera wiped her hands on her jeans and shrugged. "You don't know him, Fenris, and I would like to."

"I don't trust him. He could be trouble."

"Can't be as troublesome as me. Besides, he seems like a nice guy."

"Do what you wish." Fenris waved her off and began closing the shop.

The week had gone by slowly, and Saturday was still two days away. During that time, Anders had been talking to her a little more. Safaera figured it was a good start to a friendship. However, tonight was a team fight. Fenris would drop kick her if she wasn't focused. They finished closing the shop early and walked to the arena.

* * *

_It had to be fucking Vints._

Of all the fighters out there, they were the biggest cheats. They allowed mages to fight, often lacing their hits with magic. Safaera spat out a mouthful of blood. She'd felt some of her teeth crack with one of the punches. She checked her injuries in the mirror when she got to the locker room.

_Shit, that's worse than I thought. I'm going to need healing tonight._

"Fenris, I'm calling Merrill. Let her patch you up too."

Fenris grunted in disgust.

"I will not let that blood mage touch me." 

She ignored his glare as she pulled out her phone. She scrolled through her phone, and she hovered over Anders' name. Safaera scrolled past, mentally shaking her head.

_No, I don't want to seem like I'm using him._

She found Merrill's number and hit call. Safaera focused on her breathing to block out the pain while the phone rang.

"Hello?" 

"Hey, Merrill. It's me."

"Lethallan! Oh, I was just thinking about you!"

"Hey, Merrill," Safaera sucked in a breath. "I need your help."

"Of course, lethallan."

"Great. I'm on my way."

Safaera hung up and leaned against the nearby wall. "Come on, Fae. You have to move."

Groaning at the effort, she pushed herself off the wall. Everything hurt. She could barely remember the journey to Merrill's house. Safaera walked in, not bothering to knock.

"Lethallan!"

Merrill ran up, wrapped an arm around Safaera's waist and her arm over her shoulder. Merrill shouldered Safaera's weight with ease as they walked into her small home. Safaera collapsed into a chair and mumbled, "thanks."

"What happened, Hawke? Where's Bethany? Don't tell me you and Fenris fought again!"

Safaera's mind could barely keep up with the interrogation, but she tried.

"Vints. Circle. Not each other."

It was hard to pin Merrill down. The girl kept moving, searching for things, and bringing whatever she was looking for to the table. Eventually, she stopped moving.

"Lethallan, drink this."

Safaera grabbed the cup and drank. She had learned to stop asking what went into the tonics she made a long time ago.

"I feel tired, Merrill." She slurred, the fatigue had finally caught up to her.

The last thing she remembered was Merrill asking her to stand up, then she blacked out.

* * *

When Safaera awakened, it was Saturday morning. She was at home and was instantly aware of the pain throughout her body. The last thing she remembered was being back to back with Fenris in the cage. She got out of bed and checked her phone. Beside her phone, there was a handwritten note from Merrill. After reading it, Safaera pieced together what happened. Instead of resting, at Merrill's behest, Safaera continued her morning routine. When she got to the bathroom, Safaera looked in the mirror.

_Maker, I look like death._ She showered and doctored her wound.

Duke was waiting patiently to be let out. She accompanied him outside and was greeted to a picturesque morning.

_I feel like I'm forgetting something._

Safaera walked back into the house. Before she reached the stairs, her phone pinged with a new message.

_>Hey what time should I come over (11:08 am)_

Safaera stared at her phone, trying to figure out what Anders meant. She gasped aloud when she remembered. Feeling like a fool for forgetting in the first place, she hastily typed her reply.

** _<Whenever is good. (11:11 am)_ **

Her mind finally caught up to her. 

_I just told Anders that whenever is good, and I'm in my pajamas. Maker, I'm an idiot._

She ran up the stairs, slightly gasping in pain at the strenuous movement, and quickly got changed. She managed to find a clean tank top and shorts. Her phone pinged with a new notification, and she looked on the bed for it to find Mister Wiggums sitting on top of it. She picked both up and walked back downstairs, checking the new message.

_> I'll be over in 15 (11:12 am)_

She still had plenty of time. She walked to the kitchen to make sure she had plenty of snacks. Before she sat down, Safaera went to the bathroom one more time to check out her injuries.

_Maybe it won't be so noticeable_. 

"Who am I kidding?" She asked the kitten, "it's absolutely noticeable." 

With the kitten in tow, she walked out of the bathroom and back into the living room. Before she could sit down, the bell rang.

Without looking, she opened the door to find Anders similarly dressed when she saw him on Tuesday. Anders looked up, and his eyes narrowed.

_So much for the hope of them not being noticeable._

"The car is treating you okay?" She tried, stepping back to let Anders come in.

"It is, thank you, Hawke." Anders' eyes hardly left her face as he walked in. 

_He's just looking at the injuries, not you. So why is my heart racing?_

"Do you want to look around, or just get started?" She stood in front of him, her hands clasped behind her back, and waited for his answer.

Anders glanced around before his gaze returned to her. "Let's see what you got," he said finally.

Safaera smiled and grabbed his arm to lead him into the living room. When they got to the sofa, she indicated for him to sit down.

"Do you want a drink?" She called over her shoulder.

"Just water, thanks."

"You sure? I have Ferelden ale."

"Maybe one." Anders' laughter carried to the kitchen. After popping the tops, she walked back in.

"So, Anders, what are we watching today?" She handed him his beer and pointed to the remote in front of him.

"Does it hurt?" Anders was staring at her again.

She felt her face grow hot. _Maker, he just gets right to the problem. _

"I don't know what you mean," she said breathily. _Good job, Fae, play dumb! Cause **that** would throw him off._

"Why are you covered in new injuries?"

He set his drink on the table beside them and turned to face her. His hands reached for her face as he carefully traced the bruises on her face.

"How do you think, Anders?"

"Do you want me to heal you?" She backed away from Anders's outstretched hand.

"I don't want you to think that you have to heal me every time you see me. That'd be a pretty shitty friendship if you ask me."

"Friends?" He asked puzzled.

"Only if you want to be," Safaera looked directly at Anders, and she saw him blush slightly.

"I'd like that, Hawke. But as your friend, I think you should let me look at you." Safaera smirked.

"Look, all you like, Anders, I'm not going anywhere." 

Anders' face grew red. She laughed and moved back into Anders's reach.

"Maker's breath," he muttered under his breath as he reached for her face.

With nowhere else to look, Safaera watched Anders as he worked on healing her. She loved the color of his eyes. The honey hue looked a lot better than her steel gray. Anders moved back after he had finished.

"Thank you, Anders," she moved back to the other end of the couch.

As Mister Wiggums walked by, Safaera picked him up and set him on the couch between the two.

"So, what are we watching?" She asked as she took a sip of her beer as if nothing happened between them.

Anders, who was petting the kitten, looked at the TV and then back at her. "Can we watch Scrubs?"

"Hell yeah, we can."

Safaera grabbed the game controller and pulled up the tv show and hit play. They spent the first two episodes watching the show.

"So, what did you do before this?" Safaera's curiosity was getting the best of her.

Anders looked at her for a bit. "What's there to know?"

"I don't know, Anders, I only know what I would overhear from the phone calls with Bethany."

"What did you hear?" Anders looked concerned.

"I know that you're passionate about mage freedom and that the Chantry has become an overbearing force on mages. For the record, I agree. I think they go too far." Anders seemed to relax when she said her opinion.

_Interesting. Or maybe not, he's essentially an apostate. A cute one too_.

"I was with the Wardens for a time. But, I left," Anders looked down at his drink.

"You were a Warden? Hmm." Safaera tried to picture him in Grey Warden armor.

"What about you?"

"What would you like to know? Other than that, I work as a car mechanic with my best friends, and I cage fight occasionally." She wasn't hiding, but she didn't feel like anything exciting happened to her.

"Why did you move to Kirkwall?"

Safaera blankly stared at the TV. It was a memory she just tucked away. She was good at that, ignoring her pain.

"Uh, we had to move. We lost some of our family to –" her throat began to close up.

_Maker, not now._ Safaera wiped the tears from her eyes, desperately hoping that Anders didn't see them.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

A tense silence fell between them, the only noise was from the TV that played in the background.

"It's fine, really," Duke had moved from his bed and jumped on the couch between them, his head in her lap. "It happened five years ago."

Before another awkward silence could fall, Safaera shook her head. "You never answered what you like to do for fun."

Anders awkwardly laughed, "I enjoy reading."

"That's not fun, Anders," she teased, "that's relaxing."

"Well, what about you?"

"Let's see, I enjoy skating, paintball, and movies."

"You don't like to sit still." Anders was smiling at her enthusiasm.

"And why should I? The world is meant to be explored, and I intend to."

The jovial mood was shattered when a dull ring came from the TV. Safaera turned to the TV to see a dark room with only a broken mage Circle image in the background. Then, a figure walked up and stood in front of the camera. The person held themselves tall, unafraid. They were wearing the same outfit as the last broadcast, and their eyes were still the same striking blue.

"I am disappointed by your silence, Kirkwall." It was the same deep and ethereal voice, too. "With your silence, the Chantry makes more aggressive moves to limit and eradicate the mages. The Templars, under Meredith Stannard's control, are authoritarian thugs that bully your brother, sister, son, or daughter into an impossible standard of obedience, and the most innocent of refractions is punished with Tranquility. Have we stooped so low as to return to a barbaric method and turn a blind eye? Fight back, Kirkwall."

The broadcast ended with him throwing a templar flag to the ground and walking across it out of the scene.

Safaera stared at the TV. 

_What is that man talking about?_

“Anders, do you know what he is talking about?”

Safaera glanced back at Anders. His stoic face was hard to read, but he seemed proud? When he noticed her stare, he cleared his throat.

“Only rumors.”

She waited for clarification, but none came.

"Thank you for today, Hawke."

"Fae," she said absently, trying to shrug off the broadcast.

"What?"

"Call me, Fae. You're a friend. You can call me by my name."

"Then, Fae, as a friend, whenever you get hurt, just ask me, okay?" He stepped in front of her, causing her to blink and look up to him.

"Yeah, sure." She walked Anders to the door, her thoughts back on her sister's safety within the Circle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally getting this shit started.


	10. Chapter 10

Safaera spent the rest of the evening trying to fact check on what the video mentioned. What was worse, she hadn’t heard from Bethany. Safaera grew increasingly aggravated by the Circle’s no communication policy and the “mystery” regarding their practices. She set her phone down and turned on the news in hopes they had more information.

No matter where she looked, they were more interested in gossip and trying to decipher the extremist’s message. No one seemed to be looking into the allegations made. There was always a rumor of what happened. Their father even warned them of the horrors that could occur. Unsatisfied with what she was finding, she stopped.

_ Maybe Varric has heard something. _

Safaera was thinking of who in Kirkwall could have news. The Coterie would likely have heard whispers, but trusting their information wasn’t always wise. Their information wouldn’t come cheap either.

She ran her hands through her hair and grabbed a fistful in each hand.

_ It’s okay, Fae. Bethany is a strong girl. She can outsmart the Templars. She can survive. _

Safaera scoffed at herself. She was having a hard time believing her words. She went to bed that night, wishing she had convinced her sister to run.

* * *

“I’m just as shocked as you are. No one knows where he got his info.”

“Well, someone  _ has _ to know, Varric.” Fae paced around Varric’s private room.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Fae. You’ll be the first to know if I hear something.”

It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but she wasn’t going to storm the Circle to demand answers. She knew that she’d be turned away at the door. Fenris and Merrill sat quietly around the table. They had asked her to go out to get her mind off of this search.

“Shit, I’m sorry, guys.” She gave them an apologetic smile, “next round is on me.”

She left before they could object. Sighing to herself, she descended down the stairs to the bar to order. She didn’t even need to say anything, the bartender knew the order.

“Fae?” A familiar voice broke her thoughts.

She turned to see Anders walk up to her

“Anders, what are you doing here?”

The bartender had started putting the drinks in front of her. Anders looked at her curiously.

“You’re not planning to drink all of that, are you?”

Safaera laughed at the idea. “I could, but no, my friends are upstairs. You never answered my question,” she said as she started balancing the drinks in her hands.

“Here, let me help,” he grabbed two of the drinks in addition to his own and followed her up the stairs.

“I was here with some colleagues, but I think they disappeared.”

“You can hang out with us. We are just playing Wicked Grace and ignoring life.”

She got to the door to find it slightly ajar and used her foot to push it open.

“Alright, misfits! I’m back, plus one.”

She placed the drinks in front of everyone and sat down across from Fenris and Varric.

“You remember Anders?” She took a sip of her drink.

“Oh! Hello! I’m Merrill,” Merrill gave a quick little wave before sitting next to Safaera, leaving Anders standing alone.

“So, how did Fae collect you?”

Merrill’s innocent question was met with different reactions in the room. Fae and Varric were trying and failing to contain their laughter, Fenris sighed, and Anders choked on his drink. Fae pulled the elf into a side hug and kissed her temple.

“Merrill,” she said, still laughing, “never change.”

“It’s a story for another time, Merrill.” Safaera looked to Ander’s apologetically.

“Blondie, sit down, and we’ll deal you in.” Varric had already dealt him in.

“What are we playing?” He sat down and picked his hand.

“Wicked Grace. You any good?” Varric threw in a couple of silver.

Safaera watched as Anders’ face scrunched up.  _ He’s probably going to lose. _

“I’ll play a few hands.”

As Safaera predicted, Anders lost every game.

_ Maker, he can’t bluff, even Merrill did better than him. _ Safaera smirked into her near-empty glass as she watched as Anders handed the remainder of his coin to Fenris.

“Blondie, you have a ways to go. Duke plays a better game.”

“The dog?” Anders' reaction had her laughing aloud.

“Yeah, he’s a smart boy,” Safaera declared. “He gives Aveline’s police force a run for their money!”

She finished off her fourth drink with a flourish. She was beginning to feel the tingle of a light buzz wash over her. Safaera didn’t pay close attention to how Merrill was looking at her.

“Lethallan, who finished healing your wounds? It looks like you never had any.”

Safaera blushed and quickly glanced at Anders before returning her gaze to Merrill.

“I don’t know what you mean, Merrill.”

She knew  _ precisely _ what Merrill meant, but it wasn’t her secret to tell. Instead, Safaera just shrugged her shoulders and played dumb.

“Hawke, the injuries you had don’t just heal in three days. Someone else healed you, and it couldn’t have been Bethany.”

Merrill meant well, but Bethany had barely been gone a month. Safaera knew Merrill was right. No one could have healed that fast without magic.

“I healed her,” Anders spoke up, freeing her from answering.

Everyone turned to Anders and stared at him.

“I knew Bethany before she went to the Circle, and circumstance brought us together.”

Anders had stated it so plainly and with no real emotion.

_ Maybe he doesn’t feel the same.  _ They agreed to be friends, but she doubted if he felt the same.

“So you are a mage.” Safaera watched Fenris and waited.

“What if I am. I am proud of my Maker-given gifts.”

Safaera heard Varric mutter under his breath, and Merrill shifted away from the table.

“Mages are a menace and destroy everything they touch. They deserve to be locked up.”

Safaera’s hand clenched. Fenris was her friend, but sometimes, she just wanted to punch him.

“So, Bethany deserved to be locked away? You have  _ no idea _ what happens in a Circle. The abuses of the Circle are obvious to anyone with eyes!”

“You wish to speak of abuses!” Fenris had stood up, and Safaera followed suit.

_ Shit, this isn’t going to end well. _ Before she could register what was happening, both Fenris and Anders glowed blue. Safaera moved in front of Anders, squaring off with Fenris before headbutting him.

“Both of you, STOP.”

“HE’S AN ABOMINATION, HAWKE!”

“None of our business! Now, SIT DOWN!” She enunciated the last sentence. When Safaera was satisfied that nothing would happen, she turned to Anders.

The light blue was fading, but it was still noticeable.

“And you,” she pointed at Anders, “you are coming with me. Now.”

The two of them walked out without a word and to the back alley of the bar. Safaera was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out what happened.

“So, I’m guessing the glow isn’t a party trick.”

“No,” he shifted under her gaze.

“Okay, Anders, you don’t have to tell me.”

“It’s hard to explain. When I was a Warden in Amaranthine, I met a spirit of Justice. He was trapped outside of the Fade. During the time he was with us, we became friends. He saw the injustices that mages suffer.”

Safaera was shocked. She didn’t know what to say. “So you met a spirit, and you befriended it. I can roll with that, but how does that make you glow?”

Anders looked perplexed but continued on, “we were going to work together to fix the injustices of children being taken away from their families. To allow mages to have a choice in what they want.”

“You’re the man in the broadcast.”

Her words hung in the air, not as an accusation but as a fact.

“I am.”

“Okay, but why hack onto satellite to spread your message? Couldn’t you just mess with their computer systems to cause a blackout?” 

Anders stared at Safaera in disbelief.

“Most people would get hung up that I took a spirit into my body.”

“I’m not most people,” Safaera smirked.

Anders relaxed slightly and smiled in return.

“You’re the first one I’ve ever told this. Thank you for not running away.”

Safaera shrugged, “well, you’re cute, so I’ll let it go.”

Thinking that was the end of the conversation, she started to walk away.

“No. Don’t go there. That’s not going to end well. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Safaera turned back to Anders. “Hurt me?” She scoffed at the idea.

“I’m not the man you think I am,” Anders continued as if determined to convince her.

“I would like to learn. Besides, you stand up for what you believe and are quite vocal about it. I admire that.”

Anders didn’t seem convinced, so she walked back to him, hooked his arm, and walked out of the alley.

“Fenris has probably calmed down, and you can go home if you want.”

“I – thank you, Fae,” Anders conceded and matched her pace as they walked arm in arm.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first AU fic. And not a one-shot. Please bear with me as I just keep posting. Constructive comments are cool. I can't promise I'll have a fixed update schedule.


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